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Hello, good morning, class of 2019.

Thank you so much for having me.

It is an incredible honor to stand here before you today.

Thank you to the faculty, to the guests, the families, and to all the gorgeous students among us who are beyond the shadow of a doubt, nursing, raging hangovers and praying that this Disney princess keeps the let it go.

Metaphors to a minimum. So, I see you.

I got you.

I want to start today by sharing a secret about myself that you might not know.

I did not graduate from college.

Dean is in a full flop sweat thinking.

Oh my God, nobody double-checked.

I had a feeling when I saw her outfit because no one with a respectable degree would wear hoops of that size.

Who let her in here.

But that leads me to another thing about me, which is, um, I'm nice.

And as it turns out, when you are nice, people tend to overlook a lot.

In some cases, this could include experience, credentials, not having your driver's license at airport security.

And yes, that's a true story twice.

And you might say, Kristen, no, that's not a result to being nice.

That's the result and the privilege of being a recognizable person, and okay, that may be true, but I will counter with my husband who is also highly recognizable and doesn't get away with anything.

Literally 10 out of 10 times he is getting a pat-down at TSA, and that's because he's just not as nice as me. Don't get me wrong. I love him; I love him. He's brilliant; he's hilarious. He's, literally, my favorite person, but he's even nicest person.

I don't know guys.

I just don't know, and I tell you this at the risk of divorce because I can't offer you the tricks of how to wield your shining diploma to ensure success.

I can't tell you the answer to the age-old actor's dilemma.

Should I move to New York? Should I stay in LA? And for goodness sakes, I cannot tell you what a Magna Carta is or what it even does.

I literally don't know.

Build Your Tribe

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