The best fun was with Madame Joubert: Miss Wilson was a poor sickly thing, lachrymose and low-spirited, not worth the trouble of vanquishing, in short; and Mrs. Grey was coarse and insensible; no blow took effect on her.
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But poor Madame Joubert! I see her yet in her raging passions, when we had driven her to extremities-spilt our tea, crumbled our bread and butter, tossed our books up to the ceiling, and played a charivari with the ruler and desk, the fender and fire-irons.
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Theodore, do you remember those merry days?"
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"Yaas, to be sure I do," drawled Lord Ingram; "and the poor old stick used to cry out 'Oh you villains childs!'-and then we sermonised her on the presumption of attempting to teach such clever blades as we were, when she was herself so ignorant."
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"We did; and, Tedo, you know, I helped you in prosecuting (or persecuting) your tutor, whey-faced Mr. Vining-the parson in the pip, as we used to call him.
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He and Miss Wilson took the liberty of falling in love with each other-at least Tedo and I thought so; we surprised sundry tender glances and sighs which we interpreted as tokens of 'la belle passion,' and I promise you the public soon had the benefit of our discovery; we employed it as a sort of lever to hoist our dead-weights from the house.
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Dear mama, there, as soon as she got an inkling of the business, found out that it was of an immoral tendency.
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Did you not, my lady-mother?"
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"Certainly, my best. And I was quite right: depend on that: there are a thousand reasons why liaisons between governesses and tutors should never be tolerated a moment in any well-regulated house; firstly-"
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"Oh, gracious, mama! Spare us the enumeration! Au reste, we all know them: danger of bad example to innocence of childhood; distractions and consequent neglect of duty on the part of the attached-mutual alliance and reliance; confidence thence resulting-insolence accompanying-mutiny and general blow-up.
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Am I right, Baroness Ingram, of Ingram Park?"
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"My lily-flower, you are right now, as always."
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"Then no more need be said: change the subject."
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Amy Eshton, not hearing or not heeding this dictum, joined in with her soft, infantine tone: "Louisa and I used to quiz our governess too; but she was such a good creature, she would bear anything: nothing put her out. She was never cross with us; was she, Louisa?"
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"No, never: we might do what we pleased; ransack her desk and her workbox, and turn her drawers inside out; and she was so good-natured, she would give us anything we asked for."
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"I suppose, now," said Miss Ingram, curling her lip sarcastically, "we shall have an abstract of the memoirs of all the governesses extant: in order to avert such a visitation, I again move the introduction of a new topic. Mr. Rochester, do you second my motion?"
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"Madam, I support you on this point, as on every other."
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"Then on me be the onus of bringing it forward. Signior Eduardo, are you in voice to-night?"
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"Donna Bianca, if you command it, I will be."
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"Then, signior, I lay on you my sovereign behest to furbish up your lungs and other vocal organs, as they will be wanted on my royal service."
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"Who would not be the Rizzio of so divine a Mary?"
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"A fig for Rizzio!" cried she, tossing her head with all its curls, as she moved to the piano.
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"It is my opinion the fiddler David must have been an insipid sort of fellow; I like black Bothwell better: to my mind a man is nothing without a spice of the devil in him; and history may say what it will of James Hepburn, but I have a notion, he was just the sort of wild, fierce, bandit hero whom I could have consented to gift with my hand."
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"Gentlemen, you hear! Now which of you most resembles Bothwell?" cried Mr. Rochester.
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"I should say the preference lies with you," responded Colonel Dent.
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