Perhaps I should not have killed him, but I had sworn to have my revenge-and there he was, poor vain fool, at my mercy.
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I was in no hurry.
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"Two years later I had to reconsider my position, for my revenge was being taken out of my hands.
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Mark began to drink.
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Could I have stopped him? I don't think so, but to my immense surprise I found myself trying to.
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Instinct, perhaps, getting the better of reason; or did I reason it out and tell myself that, if he drank himself to death, I should lose my revenge? Upon my word, I cannot tell you; but, for whatever motive, I did genuinely want to stop it.
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Drinking is such a beastly thing, anyhow.
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"I could not stop him, but I kept him within certain bounds, so that nobody but myself knew his secret.
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Yes, I kept him outwardly decent; and perhaps now I was becoming like the cannibal who keeps his victim in good condition for his own ends.
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I used to gloat over Mark, thinking how utterly he was mine to ruin as I pleased, financially, morally, whatever way would give me most satisfaction.
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I had but to take my hand away from him and he sank.
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But again I was in no hurry.
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"Then he killed himself.
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That futile little drunkard, eaten up with his own selfishness and vanity, offered his beastliness to the truest and purest woman on this earth.
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You have seen her, Mr. Gillingham, but you never knew Mark Ablett.
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Even if he had not been a drunkard, there was no chance for her of happiness with him.
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I had known him for many years, but never once had I seen him moved by any generous emotion.
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To have lived with that shrivelled little soul would have been hell for her; and a thousand times worse hell when he began to drink.
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"So he had to be killed.
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I was the only one left to protect her, for her mother was in league with Mark to bring about her ruin.
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I would have shot him openly for her sake, and with what gladness, but I had no mind to sacrifice myself needlessly.
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He was in my power; I could persuade him to almost anything by flattery; surely it would not be difficult to give his death the appearance of an accident.
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"I need not take up your time by telling you of the many plans I made and rejected.
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For some days I inclined towards an unfortunate boating accident in the pond-Mark, a very indifferent swimmer, myself almost exhausted in a gallant attempt to hold him up.
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And then he himself gave me the idea, he and Miss Norris between them, and so put himself in my hands; without risk of discovery, I should have said, had you not discovered me.
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