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I meant to tell my tale plainly, and make my proposals openly: and it appeared to me so absolutely rational that I should be considered free to love and be loved, I never doubted some woman might be found willing and able to understand my case and accept me, in spite of the curse with which I was burdened."

"Well, sir?"

"When you are inquisitive, Jane, you always make me smile.

You open your eyes like an eager bird, and make every now and then a restless movement, as if answers in speech did not flow fast enough for you, and you wanted to read the tablet of one's heart.

But before I go on, tell me what you mean by your 'Well, sir?' It is a small phrase very frequent with you; and which many a time has drawn me on and on through interminable talk: I don't very well know why."

"I mean,-What next? How did you proceed? What came of such an event?"

"Precisely! and what do you wish to know now?"

"Whether you found any one you liked: whether you asked her to marry you; and what she said."

"I can tell you whether I found any one I liked, and whether I asked her to marry me: but what she said is yet to be recorded in the book of Fate.

For ten long years I roved about, living first in one capital, then another: sometimes in St. Petersburg; oftener in Paris; occasionally in Rome, Naples, and Florence.

Provided with plenty of money and the passport of an old name, I could choose my own society: no circles were closed against me.

I sought my ideal of a woman amongst English ladies, French countesses, Italian signoras, and German gräfinnen.

I could not find her.

Sometimes, for a fleeting moment, I thought I caught a glance, heard a tone, beheld a form, which announced the realisation of my dream: but I was presently undeserved.

You are not to suppose that I desired perfection, either of mind or person.

I longed only for what suited me-for the antipodes of the Creole: and I longed vainly.

Amongst them all I found not one whom, had I been ever so free, I-warned as I was of the risks, the horrors, the loathings of incongruous unions-would have asked to marry me.

Disappointment made me reckless.

I tried dissipation-never debauchery: that I hated, and hate.

That was my Indian Messalina's attribute: rooted disgust at it and her restrained me much, even in pleasure.

Any enjoyment that bordered on riot seemed to approach me to her and her vices, and I eschewed it.

"Yet I could not live alone; so I tried the companionship of mistresses.

The first I chose was Céline Varens-another of those steps which make a man spurn himself when he recalls them.

You already know what she was, and how my liaison with her terminated.

She had two successors: an Italian, Giacinta, and a German, Clara; both considered singularly handsome.

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