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Hand to God. I can't do it.

All I can do is share my experience with you.

My husband always says, if you see someone who has what you want, ask them how they got it.

Unfortunately, Beyonce has yet to reply to my emails, so I don't have all the answers yet, but she will like, don't worry.

She's definitely going to, so I'm pretty sure I say this because if there is anything about my life that seems even slightly aspirational, hopefully, some of this will be helpful to you.

And if not, feel free to slowly pull the flask hiding in your underwear out and just have it.

I'm not your mom.

You know what I mean? It's if it's not hurting anyone, great.

Get yours, and you know what, maybe share some with your neighbors.

Now the tricky thing about finding someone who has what you want is it; you also have to know what you want.

Right? So that seems simple enough, but it's actually very hard because our brains are arrogant assholes.

The brain thinks it's running the show, but the heart is secretly pulling strings.

It's very true.

Our brains are the King Joffrey of our bodies, and our hearts are the granny Tyrell, right? Very true.

We think we know what we want, but we often have no idea what we need, and because of that, we often approach life with one goal, and we end up finding our real purpose along the way.

When I left New York, and I came to LA, I had the singular goal of becoming the lead on a TV show.

I had gained some experience in New York, playing a naive weed, obsessed sexpot, and reefer madness.

I thought, perfect, I'm ready for Los Angeles.

Surely I will be embraced immediately.

So I hopped on a plane.

I arrived in the land where the streets are soaked in sunshine and self-tanner residue.

I had the confidence of an overserved freshmen at a frat party.

I was like, here I am, and I began the process of auditioning, which it's really just a condensed way to say driving back and forth to Santa Monica in rush hour traffic, but the feedback that I received was that I was always either too young, too old, too cute, too plain, too smart, too ditzy.

It was as if goldilocks were every casting director and I just couldn't nail it, and eventually, I started booking some costar and guest star roles, but my coveted lead alluded me, and I would go to bed negotiating with the universe.

I would say, okay, if I could just book the lead on CIS and CIS: Miami, I promise I will decrease my carbon footprint by at least six in the next calendar year.

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