I entered-not now obliged to part with my whole fortune as the price of its accommodation.
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Once more on the road to Thornfield, I felt like the messenger-pigeon flying home.
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It was a journey of six-and-thirty hours.
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I had set out from Whitcross on a Tuesday afternoon, and early on the succeeding Thursday morning the coach stopped to water the horses at a wayside inn, situated in the midst of scenery whose green hedges and large fields and low pastoral hills (how mild of feature and verdant of hue compared with the stern North-Midland moors of Morton!) met my eye like the lineaments of a once familiar face.
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Yes, I knew the character of this landscape: I was sure we were near my bourne.
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"How far is Thornfield Hall from here?" I asked of the ostler.
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"Just two miles, ma'am, across the fields."
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"My journey is closed," I thought to myself.
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I got out of the coach, gave a box I had into the ostler's charge, to be kept till I called for it; paid my fare; satisfied the coachman, and was going: the brightening day gleamed on the sign of the inn, and I read in gilt letters, "The Rochester Arms." My heart leapt up: I was already on my master's very lands.
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It fell again: the thought struck it:-
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"Your master himself may be beyond the British Channel, for aught you know: and then, if he is at Thornfield Hall, towards which you hasten, who besides him is there? His lunatic wife: and you have nothing to do with him: you dare not speak to him or seek his presence.
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You have lost your labour-you had better go no farther," urged the monitor.
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"Ask information of the people at the inn; they can give you all you seek: they can solve your doubts at once.
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Go up to that man, and inquire if Mr. Rochester be at home."
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The suggestion was sensible, and yet I could not force myself to act on it.
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I so dreaded a reply that would crush me with despair.
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To prolong doubt was to prolong hope.
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I might yet once more see the Hall under the ray of her star.
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There was the stile before me-the very fields through which I had hurried, blind, deaf, distracted with a revengeful fury tracking and scourging me, on the morning I fled from Thornfield: ere I well knew what course I had resolved to take, I was in the midst of them.
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How fast I walked! How I ran sometimes! How I looked forward to catch the first view of the well-known woods! With what feelings I welcomed single trees I knew, and familiar glimpses of meadow and hill between them!
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At last the woods rose; the rookery clustered dark; a loud cawing broke the morning stillness.
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Strange delight inspired me: on I hastened.
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Another field crossed-a lane threaded-and there were the courtyard walls-the back offices: the house itself, the rookery still hid.
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"My first view of it shall be in front," I determined, "where its bold battlements will strike the eye nobly at once, and where I can single out my master's very window: perhaps he will be standing at it-he rises early: perhaps he is now walking in the orchard, or on the pavement in front.
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Could I but see him!-but a moment! Surely, in that case, I should not be so mad as to run to him? I cannot tell-I am not certain.
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