He wanted to marry me only because he thought I should make a suitable missionary's wife, which she would not have done.
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He is good and great, but severe; and, for me, cold as an iceberg.
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He is not like you, sir: I am not happy at his side, nor near him, nor with him.
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He has no indulgence for me-no fondness.
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He sees nothing attractive in me; not even youth-only a few useful mental points.-Then I must leave you, sir, to go to him?"
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I shuddered involuntarily, and clung instinctively closer to my blind but beloved master. He smiled.
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"What, Jane! Is this true? Is such really the state of matters between you and Rivers?"
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"Absolutely, sir! Oh, you need not be jealous! I wanted to tease you a little to make you less sad: I thought anger would be better than grief.
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But if you wish me to love you, could you but see how much I do love you, you would be proud and content.
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All my heart is yours, sir: it belongs to you; and with you it would remain, were fate to exile the rest of me from your presence for ever."
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Again, as he kissed me, painful thoughts darkened his aspect.
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"My seared vision! My crippled strength!" he murmured regretfully.
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I caressed, in order to soothe him. I knew of what he was thinking, and wanted to speak for him, but dared not. As he turned aside his face a minute, I saw a tear slide from under the sealed eyelid, and trickle down the manly cheek. My heart swelled.
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"I am no better than the old lightning-struck chestnut-tree in Thornfield orchard," he remarked ere long. "And what right would that ruin have to bid a budding woodbine cover its decay with freshness?"
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"You are no ruin, sir-no lightning-struck tree: you are green and vigorous.
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Plants will grow about your roots, whether you ask them or not, because they take delight in your bountiful shadow; and as they grow they will lean towards you, and wind round you, because your strength offers them so safe a prop."
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Again he smiled: I gave him comfort.
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"You speak of friends, Jane?" he asked.
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"Yes, of friends," I answered rather hesitatingly: for I knew I meant more than friends, but could not tell what other word to employ. He helped me.
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"Ah! Jane. But I want a wife."
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"Do you, sir?"
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"Yes: is it news to you?"
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"Of course: you said nothing about it before."
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"Is it unwelcome news?"
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"That depends on circumstances, sir-on your choice."
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