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True, reader; and I knew and felt this: and though I am a defective being, with many faults and few redeeming points, yet I never tired of Helen Burns; nor ever ceased to cherish for her a sentiment of attachment, as strong, tender, and respectful as any that ever animated my heart. Voice Reading
How could it be otherwise, when Helen, at all times and under all circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and faithful friendship, which ill-humour never soured, nor irritation never troubled? But Helen was ill at present: for some weeks she had been removed from my sight to I knew not what room upstairs. Voice Reading
She was not, I was told, in the hospital portion of the house with the fever patients; for her complaint was consumption, not typhus: and by consumption I, in my ignorance, understood something mild, which time and care would be sure to alleviate. Voice Reading
I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or twice coming downstairs on very warm sunny afternoons, and being taken by Miss Temple into the garden; but, on these occasions, I was not allowed to go and speak to her; I only saw her from the schoolroom window, and then not distinctly; for she was much wrapped up, and sat at a distance under the verandah. Voice Reading
One evening, in the beginning of June, I had stayed out very late with Mary Ann in the wood; we had, as usual, separated ourselves from the others, and had wandered far; so far that we lost our way, and had to ask it at a lonely cottage, where a man and woman lived, who looked after a herd of half-wild swine that fed on the mast in the wood. Voice Reading
When we got back, it was after moonrise: a pony, which we knew to be the surgeon's, was standing at the garden door. Voice Reading
Mary Ann remarked that she supposed some one must be very ill, as Mr. Bates had been sent for at that time of the evening. Voice Reading
She went into the house; I stayed behind a few minutes to plant in my garden a handful of roots I had dug up in the forest, and which I feared would wither if I left them till the morning. Voice Reading
This done, I lingered yet a little longer: the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew fell; it was such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm; the still glowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow; the moon rose with such majesty in the grave east. Voice Reading
I was noting these things and enjoying them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it had never done before:- Voice Reading
"How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in danger of dying! This world is pleasant-it would be dreary to be called from it, and to have to go who knows where?" Voice Reading
And then my mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had been infused into it concerning heaven and hell; and for the first time it recoiled, baffled; and for the first time glancing behind, on each side, and before it, it saw all round an unfathomed gulf: it felt the one point where it stood-the present; all the rest was formless cloud and vacant depth; and it shuddered at the thought of tottering, and plunging amid that chaos. Voice Reading
While pondering this new idea, I heard the front door open; Mr. Bates came out, and with him was a nurse. Voice Reading
After she had seen him mount his horse and depart, she was about to close the door, but I ran up to her. Voice Reading
"How is Helen Burns?" Voice Reading
"Very poorly," was the answer. Voice Reading
"Is it her Mr. Bates has been to see?" Voice Reading
"And what does he say about her?" Voice Reading
"He says she'll not be here long." Voice Reading
This phrase, uttered in my hearing yesterday, would have only conveyed the notion that she was about to be removed to Northumberland, to her own home. Voice Reading
I should not have suspected that it meant she was dying; but I knew instantly now! It opened clear on my comprehension that Helen Burns was numbering her last days in this world, and that she was going to be taken to the region of spirits, if such region there were. Voice Reading
I experienced a shock of horror, then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire-a necessity to see her; and I asked in what room she lay. Voice Reading
"She is in Miss Temple's room," said the nurse. Voice Reading
"May I go up and speak to her?" Voice Reading

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