My character Nina is only artistically successful when she finds perfection and pleasure for herself not when she was trying to be perfect in the eyes of others.
So when Black Swan was successful financially and I began receiving accolades, I felt honored and grateful to have connected with people.
But the true core of my meaning, I had already established.
And I needed it to be independent of people’s reactions to me.
People told me that Black Swan was an artistic risk, a scary challenge to try to portray a professional ballet dancer.
But it didn’t feel like courage or daring that drew me to it.
I was so oblivious to my own limits that I did things I was woefully unprepared to do.
And so the very inexperience that in college had made me insecure and made me want to play by other’s rules now was making me actually take risks.
I didn’t even realize were risks.
When Darren asked me if I could do ballet, I told him that I was basically a ballerina which, by the way, I wholeheartedly believed.