Hello, good morning, class of 2019.
Thank you so much for having me.
It is an incredible honor to stand here before you today.
Thank you to the faculty, to the guests, the families, and to all the gorgeous students among us who are beyond the shadow of a doubt, nursing, raging hangovers and praying that this Disney princess keeps the let it go.
Metaphors to a minimum. So, I see you.
I got you.
I want to start today by sharing a secret about myself that you might not know.
I did not graduate from college.
Dean is in a full flop sweat thinking.
Oh my God, nobody double-checked.